Oslo, Norway - Only 2-3 days after the public self-humiliation of the paparazzi, that confessed he was kicked by teen idol Justin "Stallone" Bieber (who barely weighs 40 kilos), thousands in Norway join the Bieber related public ritual of self-humiliation in downtown Oslo. "Yes, I am a fan of JB (not to be mistaken with BJ - interviewee)" and I did decide to come out of the closet with my deviation, hence I join this public self-humiliation event in front of cameras and passers-by." confessed a fan, who however wanted to be unnamed.
The baby-face, baby idol pop singer is in Norway with a short visit and performed in a free concert in the Opera building.
The "Karate Kid" Bieber was initially to appear with a press conference which was eventually cancelled for security considerations. Organizers and Oslo Police had information about too many fans having brain damage. They also possessed information about other fans that were potential threat. The latter rounded up the press conference venue with placards reading "Kick me like you kicked the damn paparazzi" and "I want to kiss you even if you hit me as hard as the freaking Will Smith did last week."
Police tightened the control of the areas near the concert venue, where allegedly 15.000-20.000 fans have gathered to push others as a token of dedication to their jelly-haired idol.
Police had to invite additional security forces, psychiatrists, extra emergency staff from Red Cross and drug addicts gathered around central station.
The Redd Cross representative informed Comedy Now! that they had to show first aid to 88 victims. At least 86 of them, according to the shift manager, were reported to have brain damage. "Some of them cited
Na na na, na na na, na na na
Yeah girl
Na na na, na na na, na na na ey
If I was your boyfriend
Na na na, na na na, na na na ey
Na na na, na na na, na na na ey
If I was your boyfriend...
verse of his song titled Boyfriend, the last thing they remember before their brain cells were temporarily paralyzed, by the immune system" says Kristian Rødegaard, the operational manager of Akershus Red Cross, and adds "we assume the accumulation of 37 repeating meaningless "na na"-s separated by one or two random words such as "girl" and "boyfriend", in one single sentence, could have been the trigger for brain failure among some of the victims."
Emergency command leader Simen Ambulanssen standing next to Kristian Rødegaard, added that they have contacted their Red Cross branches internationally as well as the Norwegian Ministry of Health and World Health Organization, with concerns of possible mass brain disorder pandemic worldwide, as the alleged reason for 86 cases of partial brain failure during the event - the song Boyfriend, was released on iTunes, and currently holds the rank of #1.
Concert Security, downtown drug addicts and Roma beggar affairs chief Squad leader at Oslo Police, commented that they wish they got more information from the organizers, and were updated that "that babyface freak was so popular among the brainless kids we ought to protect from themselves."
Our reporter approached organizers at UniIQ Norge, for comments. Their spokesperson refused to answer questions and said this one line "Oslo municipality should consider renaming the main avenue Carl Johan gate into Biebergate, as this streets has never before seen so much crowd, and this little fisherman town has never been able to get so many kids out on the street, outside the national day celebration thingy"
In response to Norwegian media's extensive coverage of Justin "Kung Fu" Bieber's visit and related security situation, terrorist Ander Breivik, through his lawyer, expressed his outrage, seeing his case coverage suffering.
